First Annual Fucktastic Fic Awards!

Because we read SO much fanfiction and are constantly asking each other “who’s your favorite Edward.…?” Or saying “This story is in my top 5 all time fav’s!” we decided we want to know what the rest of you are thinking.

Below you will find our snazzy categories. So tell us what’s yo fancy, baby.

Here’s how it works:

Ø Copy and past this list into an email and give use ONE nomination per category.
Ø You can give us nominees for all of the categories, or just a few.
Ø ALL nominated stories must meet the requirement of their category.
Ø The story must have been updated in 2010, and cannot be an EPIC fic.
Ø Any couplings are allowed (E/B – Em/R – Em/B – E/A etc…)
Ø EPIC fics may have
o   Been posting for more than one year
o   More than 50 chapters
o   Over 5k reviews
o   Currently be complete or IP.
Ø Top 5 cumulative nominees received by November 17th at midnight will go into the finals.
Ø Forward to
Ø Please no smear campaigns… this shit is supposed to be fun so don’t fuck it up!

Get it…? Got it…? Good!

On to the categories…
* All time EPIC fic -
* Fic that you drop everything for –
* Fic Comedy -
* Fic you clicked on simply for the title itself –
* Most Lemony goodness –
* Favorite Slash –
* Favorite Bella –
* Favorite Edward –
            * Teenward -
            * Tattward -
            * Emoward -
            * Doucheward -
            * Malewhoreward -
            * Daddyward –
* Favorite High School fic –
* Favorite College fic -
* Made you bawl your fucking eyes out –
* Breakup that stuck your heart in a blender –
* Best Proposal (All Couplings) -
* Fic that could have been SEVERAL chapters shorter –
* Fic that made you want to, or actually, throw your computer –
* Author you want to be besties with –
* Most consistently updated story –
* Character that you want to punch in the face (please name character and fic it came from) –
* Best One Shot –
* Best playlist –
* Favorite fic with UNDER 500 reviews –
* Fic that fell off the face of the planet (IP) –
* Plot with the most fuckery –
* Fic you want made into a movie (EPIC fic are eligible) –
* Fic you will never forget (EPIC fics are eligible) –
* Fic you would love to see published (EPIC fics are eligible) –
* Fic you wish had a sequel (EPIC fics are eligible, must currently be complete) –
* Write-In (something you believe we haven’t covered in the categories above) –

Don’t forget to get those nominees in by November 17th. Voting will begin November 27th.

Robandi - Mrs.Ficward

Died and Gone to Heaven by DoUTrustMe

Banner by Ange de l'aube
Tallulah wraps her brand new car around a tree.  She is in a hospital bed, she sees God.  Tallulah is hot for some Jesus daddy.
"Do you have sex? With Mrs. God?"
"Not recently."
"You should."
"I'll take that under advisement."
I finally managed to pry one eye open. "God?"
"Mm." God was leaning over facing away from me checking some clear tubing on a pole.
"You have a nice ass, too."
God threw back his head and laughed as he walked out of the hospital room.

God tells her, her name is Bella, and thanks her for her complement.
Bella’s memory is gone. She can’t remember a thing. She finds out that God, now called Dr. SexGod is her husband. Dr. SexGod is delicious, she is happy that she gets to go home with his yummyness.

This Fic is filled with many hysterical nick names for Edward, and Edward’s body parts.
“The Twins, The Item, Caption Cock, Love Boat are just a few.
"What do I call you?" I asked.
He put his book down.
"Besides Doctor SexGod? Edward. Eddie. Ed. Teddy. Ted. The Cullenator? What do I usually call you?"
"It depends on the circumstance."
"If you're upset or serious you call me Edward. If you're happy and flirting you call me Edster. Then there's the Edmeister, the Ed man, Edless Horseman, Big Ed, Mr. Ed, Doctor Ed, Doctor Edper, Doctor Love ... "
"Okay, I get it. I have a lot of names for you."
"And then in the heat of passion you call me Edward-ooooh."
"No. Oh, Edward, oh, oh, Edward oh, Edward oh. Edward-ooooh," he demonstrated in a breathy voice.
I clamped my thighs together.
"Ooooh," I responded cleverly.
"Kind of like you just did there only breathier and louder and with Edward in front," he explained politely and went back to his book.

If you are interested to find out about 18
th Century Time Traveling Bare Naked Robbers, read this.
If you are wondering what genetically engineered super crotch moths have to do with Bella & Edward, run don’t walk to this fic.
You will also find out that Bella has all kinds of diabolical plans to get Triple X aka Edward naked.  Her plans are awesome, even Sexward has some diabolical plans up his sleeve.
So much for my evil, diabolical plan. I'd been planning to serve him breakfast in bed wearing nothing but an apron.
X had his own bag of tricks. They might even be better than mine. His plan was more diabolical. His plan had also worked.
Five-Oh Papa Chuck graces us with this awesomesauce presents
Charlie's mustache opened the front door of his house and welcomed us in.
You also get to meet Mama & Daddy Sex, and the rest of the Cullen Family Sex. B wonders if the Cullen Family has access to a fountain of youth—an elixir of immortality to stay young perfect and sexy.

Bella finds her wedding video she watches over and over to try to regain her memory.  She wants to know all about her husband.  She knows she loves him, but she wants to know what made her love him, what their relationship was like before her memory was lost.
Edward is just awesome.   He adds fun to her crazy stories, and goes along with her nick names like “The Item.”  (Not to be confused with The Situation)  He loves this girl, so much that he wants to buy her a tank to drive so she won’t get hurt. He is patient with her, he is kind, but he also loves the smexin as much as she.

This all sounds off the hizzy don’t it?  Yeah, but this some genus writing here people.  If you need some break from the angst, waiting for some update, you should check this bad boy out.  You won’t be disappointed.  Let us know what you think.  Let DoUTrustMe know what you think of her fuckery.  You will laugh your ass off.  I promise.

Xoxo Robandi

Wednesday HumpDay Pimpage! Robandi style :-)

Say Hello, Wave Goodbye

Summary: Up and coming movie star Edward Cullen has a life-changing encounter at the premiere of his latest film. What will it mean for his career and for the women in his life? AH AU OOC. Rated M for language, content and adult situations.

Love Brit Lit? Love Brit FF? Yes, but they are hard to come by. That's why when this story was rec'd by SQIcedragon via Twitter I was stoked to find that this story "Say Hello, Wave Goodbye" by afoolishmortal was in fact a Brit Lit Fan Fiction.

This story is IP but its updated regularly.

British MovieStarWard is the it boy. Many Rumors are floating around that he is dating his American costar Rosalie Hale; is it true? Only the "couple" and the people close to them know. Only the people closest to Edward Cullen know where his heart lay. You will also be introduced to MovieStar Emmett, Music Man Marcus , Alice, to name a few. Then there is BritishBella and her bff Angela, what will happen when they vacation in the states for a few weeks? You will have to read to find out. I am loving this story thus far, I can't wait to see where it goes and who will hook up or not.

At the beginning of each chapter, you will find a passage of "gossip" about the stars on what they are "doing". This totally reminds me of the Robsten/Nonsten gossip us Rob and KbeefStew fans read about on twitter daily.

Check it out it's a fun story and you will like this E&B and Marcus is a cool cat.

Mrs.Ficward: So I totes sent out my reports late in order to read the chapter. I may be spoken to tomorrow. Opps
Robandi69: Damn FF, we can't help it, its crack!
Mrs.Ficward: I know dude... it's really an addiction.
Robandi69: as soon as I heard that EP was updated I raced home like I owned a jet pack
Mrs.Ficward: Bahahahaha I am really sad. Isabella had it ROUGH
Robandi69: poor baby my heart hurt reading that
Mrs.Ficward: It seemed like Carlisle was really looking out for her. Or for the interest of the borgata.
Mrs.Ficward: Ugh when she went to the airport my heart broke.
Robandi69: Yes, I agree, plus I felt some love there too, when he was talking to Jasper
Mrs.Ficward: Me too... I think he has accepted her as family. It came out easily when that Agent dude was harassing her and he called her family. He meant it.
Robandi69: yes! That made me gooey inside! And the fact that she reminds him of his wife helps matters
Mrs.Ficward: I noticed a parallel from this story and the books. In both Bella and Edward were apart longer than they were together after the separation.
Mrs.Ficward: I think that's a first for EP
Robandi69: it was sad reading that part, it made me upset, as you may have noticed when I texted ya
Mrs.Ficward: I did... our support system is fuckawesome lol
Mrs.Ficward: So what do we think of Emily?
Robandi69: and they are both broken for each other but thinks the other is living their life w/o a broken heart as in Twilight
Robandi69: Emily cracked my shit up, but she seems shallow to me but seems like she would have B's back
Mrs.Ficward: Verra true. I think this was a BIG mistake. I want to slap Mafiaprinceward
Mrs.Ficward: I think she's a cop... Or just a really stupid idiot. I also think she's toast after all the questioning. She's gonna call the cops, if she isn't one that is.
Robandi69: she reminded me of a likable Paris Hilton
Mrs.Ficward: Alec was way too calm. He is always calm in those kinds of situation and then he takes people out. He freaks when he's around the people he loves and trusts.
Robandi69: and I feel that Emily is a goner
Mrs.Ficward: Yeah she was a spoiled brat. Which makes me not understand why she was in art school and bumming a ride off Isabella?
Mrs.Ficward: She had a Mercedes but wanted to ride in the Volvo she hated and complained about.
Robandi69: I mean why did Emily want to be all in B's grill all of a sudden after she met Alec aka DILF
Mrs.Ficward: LOL @ DILF... that shit was funny.
Robandi69: maybe because she was drinking? And awwww B has to get rid of the Volvo :o(
Robandi69: this shit is fucking sad a hell, I want some HAPPY
Robandi69: oh oh oh and the painting DID come from B
Mrs.Ficward: Honestly Isabella was wicked calm about the whole thing so there was no reason for Emily to be flipping out. That's why I think it was suspicious... all of the sudden she has all these questions.
Mrs.Ficward: I KNOW! I was so torn between happy and sad about that fucking picture.
Robandi69: yes! I agree, and while reading it was telling Emily to STFU girl, just STFU now!
Robandi69: AND what about Chelsea the little girl what is up with that?
Mrs.Ficward: I was thinking about Chelsea for a while. I feel like all this stuff was planted around Isabella to make her compassionate towards the people and new surroundings so she would open up to them and tell them her secrets.
Mrs.Ficward: Chelsea could have just been a fluke... but Emily is suspect and so is Seth.
Robandi69: once again, I have NO predictions! None
Mrs.Ficward: I was sooooo scared Alec was gonna cap Seth right in front of Bella
Robandi69: bahahaha he so was! lol that was messed up!
Mrs.Ficward: The only thing I got is that Alec knows shit is shady and he will be taking Bella back with him. I just don't see him actually letting Bella stay in a house that was broken into.
Robandi69: Also, I knew that it was B that called Alec when he was with E, I knew it!
Mrs.Ficward: Yes, you called it! I was completely wrong on WHY she called him though. I'm never right
Robandi69: I think that when Alec calls her in the morning she is going to go with him because of the Emily questions
Robandi69: it is a private plane too she can hop right on
Mrs.Ficward: Alec doesn't trust ANYONE so I really, really don't think he is comfortable with this whole situation
Robandi69: I wonder who it was in her house
Mrs.Ficward: I was thinking it might be that fucker with the scar on his face but he was at the bachelor party... so I'm thinking an agent
Mrs.Ficward: I don't understand why the agent dude is so interested in Bella.
Robandi69: yeah the agent
Robandi69: I think he wants Bella to turn on the Cullen's...but little does "Joe" know she ain't gonna do it knowingly!
Mrs.Ficward: It has something to do with her citizenship... but I don't see him wanting to deport her or anything so what is it?
Robandi69: so I am thinking that they don't have too much on Carlizzle for a case
Mrs.Ficward: She won't do it period... she will NOT give shit away. She's too smart
Mrs.Ficward: Yeah they must be trying to get him for human trafficking
Robandi69: Also, no wonder Edward can't find her with her last name being different now
Robandi69: well we know she don't keep a journal any longer :o(
Mrs.Ficward: Yup. But that last name was so obviously a name the feds would look up first. I bet they've known where she's been the whole time
Robandi69: what about that letter she wrote and never sent out I hope she burnt it
Mrs.Ficward: So... no predictions. I have no fucking clue where this is going... I'm just speculating but I don't really believe any of it.
Robandi69: Yes Cali and everyone there is Slim Shady to me.....gimmie MOHAR
Mrs.Ficward: I doubt she had anything incriminating in it anyway. She is so scared to mess up that she is wicked careful
Mrs.Ficward: Can I have the next update please lol
Robandi69: well Khar said the end is written she just needs to do the chapters
Robandi69: so sad its almost over :o((
Mrs.Ficward: Me too... yet so happy because I need to know how this turns out!
Robandi69: until next time! Peace out chuckers
Mrs.Ficward: Laters