One Day Mrs.Ficward and I were bored and I decided to interview her, get into her Fan Fic obsessed brain. How you enjoy our fuckery. Xoxo Robandi69 

Robandi69: Ok Welcome to my gay ass interview about your love of fan fiction
Mrs.Ficward: Thank you for having me. I have always wanted to be on this program :-P
Robandi69: When did you start reading this crack we call FF?
Mrs.Ficward: I started partaking in the crack July 2009
Who was your first dealer? How did you find out about this awesomeness?
Mrs.Ficward: You know... I can't remember. I know it was someone on the board [ Twilight Board] (obviously) but I can't remember specifically. I wish I did so I could thank them. I do know that is was The Untitled Continuation.
Mrs.Ficward: It was probably you!
Obviously you liked UC, and you moved on to more stories (a fuckton more) what did you read next, do you remember?
Mrs.Ficward: I believe I was still reading AU at the time and went on the Will you be ready when it comes. Then I was rec'd The Office. That was my first AH. Great way to jump into the land of ficporn.
Mrs.Ficward: I was really sad when it was pulled from my favorites because I loved having that listed as my first one.
Mrs.Ficward: I have read it 3 times lol.
And The Office is a perfect intro to Ficporn aka smut. High Five! Especially after the boxblock we got in BD.
Mrs.Ficward: I blame SM entirely for my love of the ficporn. If it wasn't for her I wouldn't have had to go searching for stories where Edward and Bella getiton

Robandi69: Speaking of smutty smut can you think off the top of your head your favorite lemon in a story?
Mrs.Ficward: Ooooohhhh . For overall story lemons, I am going with Help Wanted. Jaxon22 had me actually sweating at times. As for a specific lemon, I am going with Super bowl Sex in The Submissive/Dominant. Holymotheroffuck that was HOT! OH! I also need to give props to the lemon in The Blessing and the Curse... I was thinking about that for days.
OMG the Super bowl Lemon, yes, I like to reread that one, and you know my feelings on sub/dom stories! Great choices!
Mrs.Ficward: That was creative!
Ok this will take some thinking, Can you name you top 5 stories that you just love.

Mrs.Ficward: Oh, this is going to be hard....
Mrs.Ficward: I'm looking at my list lol
Mrs.Ficward: Yes, I have a fucking excel spreadsheet with all my shit categorized. Robandi, you created a monster with that idea, BTW.
Robandi69: ok let's break it down because I know that you have read 457694856794 stories

Robandi69: Fave angst stories
Mrs.Ficward: Favorite Angst - I will go with CW&IA. That story hurt my heart.
Tattward yum yum

Fave Fluff
Mrs.Ficward: Fave Fluff - Unexpected! OMG that shit was fucking hilarious. I laugh just thinking about that damn dog and the tattooed fake baby.
Stonerward yum
Saddest that makes you cry the most or hardest
Mrs.Ficward: Saddest - The Best Man... I don't need to explain why.

Stories that you drop everything to read
Mrs.Ficward: I drop most things I am doing when I get updates... but most anticipated would have to be EP. I have woken at 3am just to check it was updated when she tweeted it was being edited.
and any honorable mentions, and share any IPs as well

Mrs.Ficward: Honorable Mention - I'm going to go with stories that I know people are reading but more need to. Silver Strand Nights by Greeneyed girl OWNS ME! This Bella is absolutely fucking adorable. I just jumped into this AU again called Stolen Singer. It is AMAZING! It's like the way Twilight would have been if Bella got bit. I really love High Anxiety... but I really get fucking heartburn when I read that shit because it has so much angst. I really love those kids though and have to know how shit ends up for them.
Mrs.Ficward: I have more…..
The Cannabean Betrothal is so friggin awesome... UGH I just can't even explain. It's really cute and sooooo different from everything out there. Just go and fucking read it.
Mrs.Ficward: Oh and I will end with Bounty by Skeezon. She really is the queen of giving away no fucking CLUE where things are headed, but you know they are going somewhere amazing and you are so along for that ride. She also gets right to the point without dragging out with a bunch of bullshit just to make filler. I love it!
Look at my passionate FF reader! That's why we're TwinestieFFtextbesties

Mrs.Ficward: LOL we need to patent TwinestieFFtextbesties bahahaha
Robandi69: I'm going to make it my 10th tattoo!.... sike
yep I said sike

5 favorite Edwards

Mrs.Ficward: ok.... Edward... how do I choose thee? Funniest Edward would have to be Unexpected Stonerward. Edward I want to fuck goes to Moviestarward from Help Wanted... cause who doesn't want to fuck movie star Edward in his pool in the middle of the night.
I said choose 5! don't skimp yourself
Edward I want to marry is The Best Man He was so hot and cute and sexy and sweet.
Mrs.Ficward: ok... two more
Edward I want to slap and hug at the same time would go to How to Save a Lifeward. That kid was all over the fucking place
Mrs.Ficward: #1.... Beautiful Bastard ::sigh:: He was so passionate. [from The Office]
Bella fave Bellas

Mrs.Ficward: I love Snarkella from MAoBS by Hunterhunting She is sooooo funny.
MafiaprincessElla (I *will* make this name stick). I feel like she is my kid. I just want her to have everything she deserves. Her wellbeing is important to me. [EP]
Mrs.Ficward: Although I really shouldn't be rooting for her to get laid if I think of her as my own... that ain't right.
Mrs.Ficward: I loved how strong Coming to Terms Bella was. Edward was such a dickhead in that story but she still came out of it well.
ToV Bella... love.
Mrs.Ficward: I will end the Bella's with WA Bella. She's my ff heart.
awww I love WA Bella she was my first! :o)
Fav Alice, Emmett, Jasper, Rose any other characters that you loved

SG&tNG ... handsfuckingdown!
Mrs.Ficward: Same story [SG&tNG] for favorite Jasper as well. I wanted to hang out with him and toke.
bang that Jasper in his wannbe white trash glory…..sorry..::backs out::

Mrs.Ficward: lmao! Yes a romp in the sack with SG&tNG Jasper would be loads of fun.
Mrs.Ficward: Alice... I have to say in most stories she is the same to me. Most consistent, so it's hard to choose. WA Alice stands out to me.
Mrs.Ficward: I love AA5 Rose and Esme.
Mrs.Ficward: The Carlisle in The Bella Swan Diaries was so fucked up that he was AWESOME. I was shocked at everything he did. He was so sleazy it was extremely entertaining.
Damn I wish I could find that story to read it! {any one have it? hook a sista up}

Mrs.Ficward: TBSD was sooo fucked up! We have to find it for you!
Robandi69: Weirdest place you ever read an update?
Mrs.Ficward: Bathroom stall at work. Closed lid.
Robandi69: What is the latest you stayed up to read a story?
Mrs.Ficward: I stayed up ALL NIGHT reading EP and WA. Like didn't sleep for 48 hours straight through for both of them. I was the best customer at Starbucks those days.
omg girl, you are a committed FF need FFA fo sho!
Mrs.Ficward: By the time I got to 4 am I just said fuck it and didn't even try to sleep.
What makes you pimp a fic out?
Mrs.Ficward: If I am really in love with the characters and story lines. If I am totally wrapped in a story I want other people to read it. If I really hate something I will just add it to my list and never speak of it again, but if I love it I won't shut the fuck up about it.
And the fact you have someone to talk about fic to is fun!
Mrs.Ficward: I LOVE that I get to talk to other people about fics. It is so fun to speculate and talk about our likes and dislikes. I love that I can just randomly text you with my nonsense and you get it.
Robandi69: Have you ever quit a fic, if so why?
Mrs.Ficward: This is my problem... I hardly EVER quit a fic. I have quit maybe 2. I won't say what they were because that just ain't right, but I know of 2 I just couldn't handle anymore because the writing was terrible. If I think the writing is bad that is saying something. I can barely speak the English language myself.
and I think my last question would be your favorite authors, who do you get totes excited to see a new story from?

Mrs.Ficward: I have 4... AngstGoddess, Greeneyedgirl17, Itzmegan, and littlesecret. I know they are really popular writers, but there is a reason for that. Their writing is amazing and their stories are so different.
Robandi69: awesome! I need to check out Greeneyedgirl17. I know the other ladies! I trust your recs as long as they're not S/D lol
Mrs.Ficward: ok... I need to be released to read my Counterpoint and Brownstudy updates ;-)
Robandi69: Thanks for your time you should be paid to read FF you'd be rich! LOL
Mrs.Ficward: I wish that were an option! I wonder if you can really be a pre reader in the publishing industry lol!
And that is all for now. This chicken knows her Fan fiction, ever need a rec she is your chick! Might I add with good Fic taste. Boooo yaaa. This is Robandi69 signing out. Peace.

High Anxiety by EdwardsBloodType {Story In Progress} Cute, trendy Bella returns home to escape the heartache of her past. She immediately befriends neighbors Jasper and Edward, bonding with them in the tree house out back. Bella and Edward discover they have more in common than they ever dreamed of. AH A/U

High Anxiety Chapter 37

Since Mrs.Ficward and I are starting our blog in the middle of IP stories we are just going to pick up where we read the story last and post our convos as we read. **IF YOU HAVE NOT READ THIS STORY BEFORE Chapter 37 STOP READING*** Go to the link above and read this story because if were reading it then it is totes awesomesauce. Warning: As usual correct grammar is not used, like it or leave it sucka! :o)

!*!*!*!*!*!*SPOILERS BIG TIME, BIG TIME SPOILERS*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*

Tuesday April 27th 8:47 Am

MF: Read HA's update its awesomeness
RB: :: wipes sleep out of eye to respond:: I just got up, HA updated?! WOOP!! Wait, Shit I have to read last week's update first. Haa haa no cliffy for me!
RB: (Chapter 36s update) Awwww I love Edward's letter to Bella…..Awwww He is singing to her.
RB: Ok Started new update, I am excited cos I think that Edward is going to get good new news!!!!!
MF: ::zips lips::
RB: Yayayayayayay So excited. Ok be back later with thoughts. Edward & Co just walked into the court room to see Charlotte & Co and found out Char went to the nut hut, WOWza! Cant. Read. Fast. Enough
MF: I know! I feel kinda bad for her. [Charlotte] She has no one stable, with her mom always telling her she's fat, and the abusive Boyfriend. [Peter]
RB: I know, it had to of eaten her alive since Edward was her BFF and she was made to go through with the rape confession, under her boyfriends abusive threats.
RB: ::finished chapter, Doing the Truffle Shuffle::, I am so glad my stories are out of the HF Emo parts!
RB: They are so gonna Bang it out! I loved this fucking chapter; I knew it was going to be a good court visit cos I had faith!!! Poor Edward I thought he was going to shat his pants.
MF: WOOHOO! Something is going to happen to prevent the bang! Lmao. I will be soooo pissed. Please oh Please EBT let them get doooooown!
RB: They need to go to a fucking field and bang with no one around.
MF: The tree house!!! Go to the tree house so you can't be interrupted.
RB: LOL. They can have smexy time in Barbie's Play House.
RB: I loved how Bella ran to him after school, and jumped into his arms, such an awesome reunion.
MF: OMG! I was all but screaming LOOK UP!! HE CAN TOUCH YOU!!!!
MF: I was so scared the cocksucker Judge was going to say "Oh wellz I still no likey rich kids so keep your dick dry till your girl is 18 mwahahahaha"
RB: If the Judge was going to be a douche I would have thrown my BlackBerry out the fucking window, run down 2 flights of stairs and stomp on the motherfucker.
RB: If I were Bella I would be straddling Edward's lap 24/7
RB: Oh Oh Oh they can get their prom pictures taken at prom, and dance and do normal shit. Gosh I am so happy that I didn't get heartburn reading this story this time!
MF: I know! Maybe they will have cliché prom night "I can finally fuck you sex"
MF: Carlizzle was sooo funny telling E to wrap it before he taps it.
RB: Bahahahaa at Em and Jazz giving E condoms, they are such dudes. Then Bella says YAY you can touch me, let's go Fuck STAT.
MF: I know! I was sooo happy she was all "Nah we aint gonna wait. Take me home sparkle peen!"
MF: They are going to get in so much trubbs cuz they'll be banging it out all the fucking time. PUN.INTENDED!
MF: Bella is on the Pill so they don't *have* to use a condom. I'm guessing they won't the first time. They wanna be skin to skin with all the shiz they been through.
RB: Bahahah you think of everything you perv. But according to AA5 if they wrap it up wit will last longer.
MF: Oh dude, you just reminded me of the shiz, it's gonna be fast lolz. All the pent up sexual tension will come to blows. ß I am so gross.
RB: Predictions? Have any?
MF: This is hard to predict. I know there are quite a few chappys left and that there is more angst to come. After what they been through with all the Tanya and drug bullshit I just can't see either of them having that kind of trouble again. I'm going to say Charlie becomes a douche and the house gets sold.
RB: Yeah it's hard to tell what's gonna happen. Maybe something with Peter? I hope Bella's house doesn't get sold, it will hurt my heart. Baby Cullen needs to be born. I'm sure E&B will start looking into the future since they will be seniors. I wonder of Edward will get scouted for his Baseball skillz.
MF: Oh you're probably right. Phil is a pro ball player…maybe Renee and Phil visit and Phil sees Edward = money with his pitching.
RB: Good point, I totes forgot Phil was a pro baller.
MF: This is the first time I have smiled in a looooong time reading this fic. Usually I am clutching my chest because my heart hurts.

*#*#*#*#*#*#*SPOILER ALERT*#*#*#*#*#*#

You have been warned.

(Photo from EP Facebook. Creator listed on image)

This will probably make more sense to you if you actually go and read the chapter. We will be wicked fucking surprised if you haven't, because that would basically make you the only person in FFLand not reading this story.
So if you are have just arrived back on this planet after an alien abduction we would first like to welcome you back ::waves:: and tell you that we have a black president… he is the cat's pajamas; and EP owns us hardcore.

Here's the linkage

Our first discussion is ongoing, because this fic is IP (In Progress).
Emancipation Proclamation is near and dear to our hearts. We have been reading this story since it was only about 10 chapter in and have followed Isabella (aka Vulnerbella) and Edward (aka Mafiaprinceward; he tweets if you are interested) from the very start. When we see that EP has posted we drop everything for it. I won't tell you some of the places we have snuck off to read this crack, because you might think less of us. We needed our fix so fuck off.
Without further bullshit and whatnot… here is what we had to say about chappy 71.

WARNING! If you are looking for some beautiful example of the English language YOU.ARE.IN.THE.WRONG.FUCKING.PLACE.

Robandi69: What did you think about EP?
Mrs.Ficward: Aaawww shiiiiit. I can't BELIEVE they all made it out of that. I know things look grim but I assumed one of them would have gotten shot in the head. Carlizzle has to multitask like a mothafuckah to get all those peeps out alive.
Robandi69: LOL! I knew one of our dudes would die but holy gunfight batman! Edward was gonna walk in there like "helloz, gimme my girl" lol I hope that Alec lives for Esme's sake
Mrs.Ficward: Dude, I nearly threw my computer @mafiaprinceward for that stupid ass move. Areyoufuckinkiddgmerightnow?!?!?!?! Booooy u can't be that dumb. I love how Edwards & Royce are looking for 2 weeks and ain't found shit, but WOOP WOOP Dr C and Alec crack the case in like 15 minutes.
Robandi69: Bahahaha I know! Just shows how immature Edward & Royce are. I also think there are holes in the initiation and Aro is a SHADY moe foe!!
Mrs.Ficward: I think that Aro knows who Isabella is...I just have a feeling he would rather her die. I want to punch him in the junk every time he says he's out of this shit. Carlisle was soooo much like Edward in this chapter, and at first, I thought maybe Khar was in an Edward frame of mind, but once MPW showed up it just showed that Edward is like Daddy C...ya know? It's actually really cool how she can do that as a writer. BTW, shouldn't Bella be MafiaPrincessElla now instead of VulnerBella? Say that 3 times fast!
Robandi69: LOL! You make vera good points! I hope once Bella comes out of her Drug Stupor we will see some MafiaPrincessElla
Mrs.Ficward: I think it should be her POV next, right? She probably didn't even hear all the shit going on I'm sure it will be Edwards though. I wonder if we're even close to the end...
Robandi69: At this point I have no predictions, it could drag on or it could be over in a few chapters with a leap in time?? I have a feeling Aro is going down.
Mrs.Ficward: Aro going down and Carlisle's trial is what makes me think it will go on for a while. Will Aro let Edward finish high school? Can they still live in Forks house since it was raided? At least if they go back Bella will have something to occupy her mind by cleaning up the place...cuz you know that mess will drive her insane.
Robandi69: I like the fact that I have no predictions for the story; It can go so may ways.
Mrs.Ficward: I know! I could seriously talk about the "what ifs" for hours.
Robandi69: I know!! Do you think Alec will die?
Mrs.Ficward: For Esme's sake, I really hope not. He's all she has. Carlisle is gonna be tossed in the slammer again though cuz he has to bring them all to the hospital. Well, unless he just gets them stable and then has Edward take them. They can blame it on the gangs.
Robandi69: Yeah! Alec needs a hospital big time! This story is off the hizzy! I love it!
Mrs.Ficward: I cant wait another month for an update, I just cant. Dear EP Gawds make Khar write every day until the story is complete. Luff Me. What's that? She has a life… oh that's right. I sometimes forget that these authors don't exist solely for the purpose of writing me a story.
Robandi69: I cant wait another month!!! ::rubs hand over face::